Thursday, May 31, 2018

Enneagram Obsessed

Image of the INTJ archetype, the Architect
I have always been fascinated with personality typing systems. The first time I took a Myers-Briggs test and got my type (INTJ), I took every test I could find online just to confirm, and then I read everything I could about my type. My obsession did not stop there either. I would have my friends take the test while I anxiously awaited the results and then read everything about their type. I would make poor Matt answer each question on the questionnaire--occasionally annoyingly chiming in with are you sure that is what you would do? You don't do that!--while I ticked off the boxes to get his results and then I would read aloud the descriptions of his type even though he was not all that interested. 


I went through the same phase when my friend Kim introduced me to my natal chart (double Capricorn, rising Taurus). I've spent days of time on Cafe Astrology and Astrodienst reading about the minute details of my horoscope. I also had Kim calculate the natal charts of all of my siblings and closest friends. If you have ever received a text from me asking where and when you were born, I've probably read your natal chart! I am just fascinated by this shit. 

Enter the Enneagram. 

The Enneagram is a personality typing system that is especially beloved among Progressive Christians. I know the Enneagram number of pretty much every Christian public figure I follow on social media (Rachel Held Evans-3, Nadia Bolz-Weber-8, Sarah Bessey-9), and when they were all talking about a new book about the Enneagram: The Road Back to You, I bit the bullet and ordered the book to find out my number. Of course, I then read every book I could find on the subject, took every available online test (even though they don't encourage tests as an accurate measurement) and listened to several different Enneagram podcasts. True to form, I also texted all of my closest friends and family with a link to this test asking them to take it and tell me what they got. 

According to the Enneagram, there are 9 types of personalities: 

Diagram of the instinctive, thinking, and feeling centers of the Enneagram
1. The Perfectionist/ Reformer
2. The Helper
3. The Achiever/Performer
4. The Artist/ Individualist
5. The Observer/ Investigator
6. The Loyalist
7. The Enthusiast
8. The Challenger
9. The Peacemaker 


Ones, Nines, and Eights represent the instinctive center, meaning that they operate mainly from the gut. Twos, Threes, and Fours, operate mainly from the heart, or the feeling center, and Fives, Sixes, and Sevens operate predominantly in the mind. 

ONES: 
The perfectionist is marked by a strong inner critic that is always telling them that nothing is as it should be and everything can be improved, including themselves. They suppress their anger so much so that they wouldn't identify as angry, but they actually feel more rage than almost any other number. They are rule followers with a strict ethical code and they always endeavor to appear polite, which can make them seem distant and inauthentic to others. The One's main motivation is to live the right way and improve the world around them. Their biggest fear is that they are corrupt. Their "deadly sin" is anger, which they feel as a smoldering resentment because the rest of the world will not conform to their high ideals. Hillary Clinton is a One. 

Hillary unphased by questioning, brushes off her shoulder

TWOS: 
The helper is is friendly, caring, and generous. They are the people who bring treats into the office for their coworkers' birthdays and they are probably the person you go to when you need someone's contact information, because they are in contact with every one. They present the image of being the one who takes care of others' needs but secretly they wish for their caretaking of others to be reciprocated. The Two's motivation is to be loved and needed. Their biggest fear is that they are unloved and unneeded by their loved ones. Their "deadly sin" is pride. They believe that they alone know what everyone around them needs and so consider themselves indispensable. Princess Diana was a Two. 

Princess Di GIF "I'd like to be a Queen of people's hearts"

THREES:
The Performer is high-achieving, image-conscious, and productive. They enjoy leadership roles and they seek out careers that can offer them accolades, status, and prestige. Threes are extroverted and know how to perform for whatever room they are in at the time, which means that Threes can seem very different to people who know them from different contexts. Threes are motivated by their desire to succeed or at least appear successful, and they fear being seen as a failure. Their "deadly sin" is deceit because they will deceive others to preserve their image and they will deceive themselves to the point where they cannot tell the difference between their image and their true self. Beyonce is a Three. 

Beyonce walks in regal attire

FOURS: 
The individualist is marked by a desire to be unique. Prone to melancholy, they are moody and feel emotions more deeply than any of the other numbers. They are drawn to artistic endeavors. Fours are motivated by a desire to be understood and understand their identity, but they fear that they will never find their personal significance or be truly understood. Their "deadly sin" is envy because they believe that everyone else possesses something that they cannot have and without it they are incomplete. Jackie Kennedy was probably a Four. 



FIVES: 
The investigator is analytical, detached, and withdrawn. They prefer thought to action and can get caught in a pattern of endless deconstruction and reconstruction of their beliefs, philosophies, and theories. They are drawn to scholarly work or any work they can conduct independently. Fives are motivated by a desire to acquire knowledge and maintain their independence, and their deepest fear is that they are actually incompetent. Their "deadly sin" is avarice because they will hoard their personal time, belongings, and ideas--because they want to be independent and because they can find other people to be draining and invasive--which in turn causes them to withhold love and affection from their loved ones. Dr. House is an example of an Enneagram 5.


Dr. House GIF: "I don't like anybody"

SIXES:
The Loyalist is devoted, practical, and hard-working. They're basically Hufflepuffs. They like clear rules and boundaries and they appreciate consistency in their home and work life. Loyalists are motivated by their desire to feel secure and they fear anything that jeopardizes their security. Their "deadly sin" is fear, because they can get caught up in worst-case scenario thinking, and they can find themselves blindly loyal to authority figures and systems if they think that authority will protect them. All of the sources say Frodo is a six, but I think Sam is an even better example of the Loyalist. 


Sam to Frodo GIF: "I made a promise, Mr. Frodo"

SEVENS: 
The Enthusiast is the pleasure-seeker of the Enneagram. They are fun-loving, energetic, and spontaneous. They live for tomorrow, constantly seeking the next adventure, and they suppress their own negative emotions. The most annoying thing for a Seven would be someone who likes to dwell in their bad feelings or meditate on past mistakes (so a lot of my blog posts would make a Seven very uncomfortable😉). Sevens are motivated by a need to feel happy and stimulated and they fear feeling pain. Their "deadly sin" is gluttony because they have a hard time believing that there can be too much of a good thing. Miley Cyrus is a 7. 


Miley Cyrus Bites her Lip

EIGHTS:
The Challenger is independent, strong, and powerful. They tend to be loud, energetic, and physically dominant. Eights are the most confrontational number on the Enneagram, and they like to take on the role of defender of the underdogs. They make good advocates and activists for this reason, but unhealthy Eights can also pick fights just to prove they can win. Eights are motivated by a desire to be in control and they fear vulnerability or losing control to others. Their "deadly sin" is lust because they lust after power and intensity. Alec Baldwin is an 8 (so is the asshat he's been impersonating on SNL, but we won't talk about that).  


Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock in a suit

NINES: 
The Peacemaker is easy-going, self-effacing, and accommodating. It can be hard to type Nines because they are so used to adapting their needs and desires to those of others so as not to rock the boat. Peacemakers possess an inner "tranquil ocean" to which they can retreat when the outside world has become to overbearing or upsetting. They are motivated by a need to keep the peace and avoid conflict and they fear anything that might disturb their inner calm. They also fear being separated from their loves ones. Their "deadly sin" is sloth because their inner calmness and easy detachment can lead to an extreme passivity, almost as if they are sleeping through their life. Mr. Rogers was a 9. 


Mr Rogers GIF: Won't you be my neighbor?

There are other cool features of the Enneagram, like the "wings." Each number is influenced by the numbers on either side of it and people are said to have one dominant "wing." So, for example, an Enneagram One could be a 1 wing 2 or a 1 wing 9. The 1 wing 2 would be a little more social and actively involved in peoples' lives, earning them the nickname of "the advocate," while the 1 wing 9 would be a little more withdrawn, earning them the title of "the idealist." So, when figuring out your number, you also want to pay attention to the numbers on either side of it. There are also numbers that you "move towards" in stress and in security, but I won't get into that now. 

So, that's the Enneagram in a nutshell. If you want to take a test to see your number you can do so here, and if you want to read more about all of the numbers you can do so here

Now, the Enneagram peeps strongly discourage typing other people since someone's number is supposed to be determined by self-reflection and self-identification, but to make things fun, I'll let you guys guess what my real number is. I first took the test right after the election, so I was filled with a boiling anger and outrage at all of the the injustice in the world, so I mistakenly typed myself as a One. I am an oldest child, straight-A student who was raised with a strict moral code, so it was easy for me to see myself as a perfectionist, but I no longer think that is my real number. I don't fear that I am corrupt and I am not really much of a rule follower. I think this post contains a lot of "tells" for what my real number is. Also, if you wanted to share your number so I can geek out about your type, I would love that. 


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